WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT, THUS A HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Night of the Killer Telephone Repair Guy: Hacked Off (2005)

Hacked Off (United Kingdom, 2005)
Rating: **
Starring:  Layla Anna-Lee, Liam Browne, Maria Conciarro

Man, am I digging real deep now. I mean, has anybody even heard of this one?

A United Kingdom video release, Hacked Off is a ho-hum walk through every backwoods slashers you've known, with very little added bonus. It tells the story of seven vacationing youngsters who is on their way to a private cottage (with a pool!) on the most remote part of the French countryside, only to be terrorized by Jaque Sykes, an escaped serial killer who had already murdered a phone repair guy in the opening just to steal his clothes. And uh, that's just about it.

Pros of the movie had would be its fair looking death scenes and some decent backwoods chases, but the rest is sadly too standard or familiar for any form of praising. You could say I might as well give it some credit for doing things the way it should be done, which the film did fairly at some point, but with very little dialogue, total absence of thrill and uninspired pacing, I was that close to just browsing through the movie just to see some slasher action and hardly cared on who lives or dies. (Feels pretty lengthy for a film that runs for an hour and eleven minutes long, if I may add)

In other words, the story is generic and the whole execution itself is underwhelming. No mystery killer, no gratuitous exploitation. Just a plain slasher film with a barely-threatening looking killer that doesn't deserve a long review, but could count as a fun viewing if it kicks you right.

Bodycount:
1 male beaten to death against a steering wheel
1 male stabbed on the eyes with a screwdriver
1 female hooked on the gut with a crowbar
1 female hacked on the head with a crowbar
1 male hanged on a cable wire noose
1 male powerdrilled on the head
1 male found decapitated, head cooked in an oven
1 female stabbed on the side with an electric knife
1 male murdered offcamera
1 female hacked with a crowbar
Total: 10

4 comments:

  1. "I mean, has anybody even heard of this one?"

    I did.

    The killer's bizarre choice of outfit, at least.

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    Replies
    1. one good thing come out of it, though: least he could walk around in public...9-9

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  2. Whenever I think, there are no more slashers you haven't seen yet, you come up with something completely obscure. Insane! :D

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    Replies
    1. you ain't seen nothin' yet, Maynard!

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